4th of july...american independence day......i opened my eyes in the morning ,eager to find a bright sunny day but my eyes met with a slate gray sky...the kind of weather that makes your mood off...no matter watever u do to prevent it...i woke up with a heavy heart..i was hoping i could have the day off but my senior asked me to be in the lab at 10 and she was planning to conduct some experiments which will take the whole day..anyway i went there,grumbling all the way....i was in luck though..it turned out that even she wanna go somewhere so she let me go within 40mins...came back home....it was a depressing day as i told earlier.....i was supposed to go out with my friends to see the fireworks in FDR ...i didnt want to..i was feeling so miserable..all i wanted to do was to head back home and lick my old wounds......the depressing weather had opened a flood gate in me which i generally keep shut securely........well i could not do that.......when i went back some of my friends were online so i started talking to them right away in conference........i was feeling good.....i generally try to avoid facing my own emotions....its better to run away from them than go face them....face a lot of questions whose answer i dont hv,never had...n no idea ll ever get them or not...life is such a tangled mass of confusion and unanswered questions..anyway enough of this philosophical crap...lets head back to my 4th of july experience...so finally at my friend's insistence i reluctantly agreed to accompany them to the fireworks..by that time rain had started......not the thunderstorm......which blows away all the clouds from the sky as well as from minds but the slow and steady pitter patter which makes a person even more depressed ,solitary.......we reached FDR at around 7...the seaside was completely filled with people....the hustling bustling crowd......it was still raining..but nobody seemed to mind..we were soaked through our bones...was cold,miserable and hungry...but still everyones happy,expectant,jubilant
..waiting for something......we stood there for straight two hours....i started feeling weary..my whole body ached..i was longing to sit down..somewhere,anywhere...but there wasnt even enough room to stand ,let alone sit...i did not bring any warm clothes..i was shivering with cold...all i wanted to do was to to go home...just then my friend hold me..she was holding me close to her..thus transferring hr body heat to me..a futile effort to make me feel warm...a friends gesture to make me feel better..suddenly i felt the warmth returning to my body..i felt happy probably without any reason...like the others even i started looking at the sky expectantly ..probably even the organizers understood my sudden mood change coz the sky was suddenly lit up with fireworks.....i stood enthralled...drinking in the glory of the unexpected sight unfurled in front of me....the fireworks seemed beckoning to me..inviting me to feel myself as a part of the crowd..trying to tell me that i belong here........i stood there mesmerized...all my worries forgotten..all my tensions at the back of my mind...i just stood there
..alone yet a part of the crowd ....................
7 comments:
This is by far the best piece of writing in this blog....like a page from someone's diary...so free-flowing and true to its feeling ...various colors of human emotions are craftly captured in every line... it is hard to analyze some mysterious event but it's much harder for someone to analyze his/her own mind...that difficult task has been executed to perfection and that too with great artistic details.....excellent penmanship....waiting eagerly for most posts
thnks arnab..i'm flattered
Fireworks-ta porlam ... and you know what - I don't have words to appreciate your writing. It delineates the stages of the change in a person's mood, with references to the outward nature. Sure enough, this piece qualifies as something ... The words and phrases are well-chosen, too. I would die to write something like this - but at the back of my mind I know and feel that I cannot.
Yet another thing - the juxtaposition between the grey,cold sky and the heat of the woman referred to is an excellent example of synesthesia. My congratulations, lady.
thnx ham da for such nice comments.......but one question though..in ur second comment did u mean heart when u wrote heat??
No, I meant heat - heat indeed - remember you referred to a woman transferring her body heat to you? This juxtaposition between cold and heat has indeed been noteworthy. And, your line - "was cold,miserable and hungry" reminds me of Edward Thomas's poem "The Owl" - I am not sure whether you've read it, though.
i read the poem ..though long ago ..most probably wen i was in school......
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